Sh!t that Annoys me Wednesday 6-15-2011

It's amazing that I function in society at all given the mountain of annoying that surrounds me. I can't even escape it by staying at home, because the annoying is piped right into the boob tube, teh interwebs and my mailbox. So, without further pretext-shit that annoys me Wednesday.

1. Commercials for restaurants that would require me to drive for nearly a day to eat there. I live in BFNM. I love Joe's Crab Shack, which is saying a lot since I tend to *not* like chains. And those damn Joe's Crab Shack commercials come on the TV and remind me that I live in the desert and the 2 closest locations to me are Lubbock TX and Tuscon, AZ. Fucking Idaho has a Joe's Crab Shack and I can't get one in my state? Now, In 'n Out Burger I will drive to Kingman AZ to eat at (provided I'm on a road trip to Vegas, so far I haven't gone all that way for just a burger, but anything's possible,) but despite my love for seafood and suggestive tee shirts, I just can't justify touching Texas soil or getting close enough to a family member's house where I'd have to really have a good excuse why I didn't visit.  And don't even get me started on those bastards at IKEA who refuse to build one here.

2. Indie sellers who have no swatches. It's a minor annoyance, but I'd like to see the color swatch. I've been around long enough to know that there are a lot of colors that look nothing like they do in the pot once you apply them. Swatches seem even more important for duo-chromes. It's also annoying to see swatches on only one skin tone, I understand it's a logistic problem for an Indie seller, but I've found out the hard way how different a product can look on you if the seller is a different skin tone from you.

3. People who automatically assume that just because you give realistic advice/comments that you are trying to discourage them. I firmly believe in making an informed choice. If I happen to have had an experience that may, though it's not all rainbows and glitter farting unicorns, provide you some insight into your choice, I feel I've achieved something good. If you want to remain ignorant to the possibly negative side of things, then fine, do it, but don't say I didn't try to warn you. It's like babies. No one seems to tell you the bad side (and yes there is a bad side to having kids.) They always tell you how wonderful and what a spiritual blah blah blah, but at the end of the day, unless you're really rich, you're still dealing with achy tits, (and body) poop, vomit and a sometimes screaming child.

4. Marketing and Advertising in general. Who are these marketing "geniuses" who think that portraying the people in their commercials as a) assholes, or b) people with an I.Q. of a doorknob will make me want to purchase their product. Here's the thing, advertising is supposed to make you identify yourself with a product or brand because you are like the people shilling it or because you aspire to be like those hocking the item. This is why useless fitness equipment sells, because people think if they own the Total Gym (but not necessarily use it) they will look like Christie Brinkley or Chuck Norris. If such a large proportion of society identifies with being an asshole, or wanting to be an asshole, I'm going to move to a commune off the grid b/c the end of days can be very far off if everyone aspires to be a selfish ass who will turn on their friends/family just to drive the new car first. Sure, these commercials are sometimes humorous, but in reality, they are social commentary. This is who the marketing industry feels you are: stupid and rude. And you prove it to them that they are right with your wallet.

5. People who think they have right of way, when they really don't. Yesterday, I was nearly run over by a guy who was so focused on looking the opposite direction, he wasn't looking to see that I was walking in the crosswalk (with a walk signal.) I see this a lot, and not just with cars. People who crowd onto an elevator or a bus before people can exit, people with strollers barreling through-sometimes hitting people-down aisles. This crap annoys me. First, as a driver, you're supposed to be aware of all the possible collisions around you, not just the ones you feel are important, second, these behaviors all boil down to how selfish our society has become. People are so focused on themselves and their needs that they are completely unaware, or worse, just don't care, about other people. The stroller thing really pisses me off because I've been bruised from people intentionally hitting me because I'm in their way. Most of the time they've never even said "excuse me" they just run into me. Hey, sometimes I don't know that because you're fucking behind me and I can't see, and instead of saying excuse me, you hit me with your stroller. Or maybe I can't fucking move because other people are also in the way. Here's the thing, if I get hit with another stroller by some pushy bitch who thinks she has right of way just because she's failed at birth control, I'm filing a charge of battery with the police. It pisses me off even more when I look at the stroller, which is half the size of a Hummer, and there is't even a kid in it! WTF?  I am a polite person. I say please and thank you, I try to let people pass & get out of the way, but I'm getting sick of bruised shins.